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專欄 - 人間煙火

從“有故事的人”成為一個(gè)會(huì)講故事的人:你的溝通技能將從此爆表

查大偉 2015年01月22日

查大偉(David Chard)是一位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力培養(yǎng)顧問,,在亞太地區(qū)擁有30年的從業(yè)經(jīng)驗(yàn),。作為聯(lián)心管理顧問有限公司(EngagingMinds)的創(chuàng)始人,,他全身心致力于通過領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)策略實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人和組織向敬業(yè)型轉(zhuǎn)變。他普通話流利,,經(jīng)常來往中國(guó),。他的聯(lián)系方式是:[email protected]
每一位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者都是有故事的人,但并不是每個(gè)人都擅長(zhǎng)講故事,,都懂得故事本身蘊(yùn)含的巨大力量,。相較于令人昏昏欲睡的數(shù)據(jù)和各種假大空的職場(chǎng)套話,講述你自己的故事不僅能建立信任,,還能激發(fā)員工想象并擁抱一個(gè)更加美好的未來,。

????“一個(gè)人就是一段故事,。”

????——丹麥作家愛莎克?迪內(nèi)森

????在這個(gè)專欄打頭的幾篇文章中,,我們已經(jīng)分享了一些現(xiàn)代領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者如何將講故事作為一種最強(qiáng)大領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力工具的經(jīng)驗(yàn),。這并不出奇,古往今來的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者都曾使用個(gè)人故事,、寓言和軼事來幫助聽眾有效地吸取和整合信息,、知識(shí)、價(jià)值與策略,。

????除了要懂得故事的力量,,我們還需要知道怎樣做才能成為一個(gè)會(huì)講故事的人,。我曾聽人說過:“當(dāng)然,我明白講故事的意義,,但我是否要付出一定努力,,才能使自己變成一個(gè)會(huì)講故事的人?這種能力貌似不是自然生成的,?!蔽铱倳?huì)回答說:“是的,我理解,。曾幾何時(shí),,直立行走、讀書寫字,、使用電腦也曾經(jīng)是非常不自然的事,。不過,一旦明白了‘為什么’學(xué)習(xí)這些技能是值得的,,你就會(huì)很樂意這樣做,。對(duì)嗎?”

????因此,,在本文中,我想告訴讀者,,花點(diǎn)時(shí)間努力成為一個(gè)會(huì)講故事的人,,具有令人信服的理由。但愿更多的經(jīng)理人和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者能夠?qū)W會(huì)講故事,,而不是干巴巴地?cái)[數(shù)據(jù),、定方向、說一些陳辭濫調(diào),。接下來,,我就給你說說為什么你應(yīng)該在2015年、乃至余下的整個(gè)人生中,,成為一個(gè)會(huì)講故事的人,。

????人們會(huì)記住故事并分享故事。儲(chǔ)存在人類大腦中的記憶往往是各種故事,,故事有開始,、過程和結(jié)局。哪怕聽者忘掉你的數(shù)據(jù)已經(jīng)很久了,,他們?nèi)詴?huì)記得你的故事,,以及其中所隱含的智慧。如果你的故事是真實(shí)而吸引人的,,他們會(huì)非常樂于與他人分享,。很多源自個(gè)人經(jīng)歷的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力故事,,甚至有可能獲得自身的生命力,然后像病毒一樣在你的企業(yè)或社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上廣泛傳播,。

????故事會(huì)引起所有的感覺,、記憶和情感。做個(gè)小試驗(yàn),,現(xiàn)在嚴(yán)格遵照我的指示:我現(xiàn)在禁止你想象一頭紫色的大象,。重復(fù)一遍:現(xiàn)在不要想象一只紫色的大象。然后,,不要想象這頭紫色的大象穿著溜冰鞋,,以100公里的時(shí)速從山路上滑下,它的脖子上系著一條在微風(fēng)中飄動(dòng)的鮮紅圍巾,。不要想象它在滑行過程中臉上掛著喜悅而自由的微笑,。

????結(jié)果如何?事實(shí)上,,一旦你讀了上述句子,,我立刻引起了你的想象,你已經(jīng)在想象中成功建立了這樣一頭紫色大象的形象,。同時(shí),,你又利用自己的記憶,產(chǎn)生了高速,、興奮,、鮮紅和紫色等聯(lián)想。引人入勝,,令人無法抗拒的故事會(huì)一下子抓住你的心,。我講了一個(gè)故事,但你在自己的想象中將它建立了起來,,并牢記在心,。當(dāng)你饒有興致地構(gòu)想這些形象時(shí),你甚至有可能露出會(huì)心的微笑,。

????故事能讓聽者得出自己的結(jié)論,。假設(shè)你有一個(gè)基于個(gè)人真實(shí)經(jīng)歷的故事,在這個(gè)故事中,,你或另外某個(gè)人經(jīng)歷了一項(xiàng)非常艱巨的挑戰(zhàn),,經(jīng)歷了很多挫敗和阻礙,由于選擇不當(dāng)而犯了很多難堪的錯(cuò)誤,,但最終克服了所有困難,,獲得了杰出的成績(jī)。對(duì)于聽眾來說,聆聽這個(gè)故事也是一個(gè)間接的學(xué)習(xí)過程,。他們會(huì)對(duì)這個(gè)故事給予很大的關(guān)注,,首先會(huì)判明情況,感受到這些失敗決策所帶來的痛苦,,以及結(jié)果的不確定性所帶來的壓力,,關(guān)注這個(gè)人如何克服了失誤,感受到他們最終成功的喜悅,。由于你采取了故事的模式,,聽者會(huì)自動(dòng)吸收關(guān)鍵的經(jīng)驗(yàn),并且輕松地記住它們,。

????故事能建立信任,。上述例子的最好一面在于,你可以避免純粹的說教或耳提面命,。因?yàn)槿藗儾幌矚g你命令他們做什么,。但是他們卻喜歡你用故事來告訴他們?cè)鯓幼鍪怯行У模⑶覙酚诎褜W(xué)到的經(jīng)驗(yàn)用于未來的情境中,。實(shí)際中,,通過講述你個(gè)人的失敗故事,你還會(huì)得到人們更多的信任,。當(dāng)你把犯錯(cuò)和失敗的例子講給他人時(shí),,你也就展示了自己人性化的一面,他們會(huì)自然而然地更喜歡和信任你,。因此,,故事可以讓你從一個(gè)“任務(wù)”型領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者變成一個(gè)專注于構(gòu)建基于信任的人際關(guān)系的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者。

????故事能幫人們想象并擁抱一個(gè)更光明的未來,。作為領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者,你的成功取決于能否激發(fā)全體員工參與的愿望,,以及他們的創(chuàng)意和激情,。美國(guó)前總統(tǒng)肯尼迪有一個(gè)傳奇故事:在美國(guó)首次登月任務(wù)期間,肯尼迪曾經(jīng)去美國(guó)航空航天局訪問,。中途去洗手間時(shí),,他看見一位男士正在那里拖地板??夏岬舷蛩麍?bào)以微笑,,感謝他把房間打掃得這樣干凈。那個(gè)男人馬上回答:“不,,先生,,我不是在拖地板,而是在幫助我們登月?!鄙钍芨袆?dòng)的肯尼迪將這個(gè)故事分享給了其它人,,這個(gè)故事迅速火了起來。在這個(gè)故事中,,NASA就是這樣一個(gè)各個(gè)層級(jí)的人充分投身宏偉愿景的組織,,不管他們每個(gè)人的日常工作是什么。不妨想象一下,,如果你的公司的員工也有類似的激情會(huì)怎樣,?你的員工是否因一個(gè)激動(dòng)人心的愿景而興奮?還是他們只是簡(jiǎn)單地在拖地板,?

????“To be a person is to have a story to tell.”

????——IsakDuneson

????In previous articles on this blog we have shared our experience regarding the use of storytelling as one of the most powerful leadership tools available to modern leaders. It’s really no surprise, since leaders throughout the ages have used personal stories, parable and anecdotes effectively to ensure that listeners could easily absorb and integrate information, knowledge, values and strategies.

????Beyond merely understanding the power of stories, however, there remains the need for specific action and commitment to become a storyteller. I hear people say: “Sure, I can see your point about telling stories…but do I really need to make the effort to become a storyteller myself? It doesn’t seem to come naturally to me.” My answer is always something like: “Yes, I understand. And there was also a time when walking, reading and writing, typing and using a computer program seemed unnatural. But when you clearly understood ‘why’ learning these skills was worth the time, you simply got busy and did it. Right?”

????So in this article I want to remind readers of the compelling reasons why it is worth your time to become an effective storyteller, in the hopes that more managers and leaders will just get busy learning to tell stories instead of just spewing out information, directives and platitudes. Here are some of the many reasons why it is so worth it for you to decide, today, to become a great storyteller in 2015 and for the rest of your life:

????People Remember and Share Stories.The human brain is actually structured to retain memories in story format, with a beginning, middle and end. Long after listeners have forgotten your data, they will remember your story, and the wisdom embedded within it. And, if your story is authentic and compelling they will eagerly share it with others. Many leadership stories from your personal experience even have the potential to go viral, taking on a life of their own, spreading far and wide in your organization or social networks.

????Stories Engage all the Senses, Memories and the Emotions.Try this now, following my instructions exactly: I now forbid you to imagine a purple elephant. I repeat: Do NOT think of a purple elephant right now. Further, I forbid you to imagine a purple elephant on roller skates, whizzing down a mountain road at 100 km per hour, with a bright red scarf around its’ neck, streaming behind it in the breeze. And do NOT imagine the blissful smile on the purple elephant’s face as it goes whizzing down the mountain, freedom of the ride.

????Ok, how did you do? The fact is, once you read my words, I instantly engaged your imagination and you have installed a purple elephant in your imagination. At the same time, you have accessed your own memories of moving at high speed, feeling joyful, bright red and purple colors. Stories are immediate, engaging and irresistible. I told the story, but you created it in your own imagination, and you now own it. Perhaps you even smiled as you had fun doing this.

????Stories Allow Listeners to Draw their own Conclusions.Let’s suppose you have a personal story about an authentic experience in which you, or someone else, faced an overwhelming challenge, experienced multiple frustrating obstacles, made some embarrassing mistakes due to bad choices, but in the end, overcame the difficulties and demonstrated outstanding results. As your listeners experience your story, they are also learning vicariously: they are paying close attention by first identifying with the situation, feeling the pain of those unworkable choices, the tension and uncertainty about the outcome, noticing how the person overcame their mistakes and feeling the joy of their ultimate success. They automatically integrate the key learnings and retain them easily due to the story format.

????Stories Build Trust.Best of all, in the above example, you avoided the fatal error of just preaching or “telling” people what to do. Because people don’t like being told what to do! But, they do love a story that allows them to decide for themselves what was effective and willingly apply their learning to future situations. In fact, you will gain more trust from people by telling failure stories from your own experience than by merely boasting and bragging about all your successes. When you reveal your mistakes and vulnerabilities with others, you show your human side and they automatically like you better and trust you more. This is where stories can move you from being a leader focused on ‘transactions’ (tasks) to a leader focused on human relationships grounded in trust.

????Stories Can Help People Imagine and Embrace an Inspiring Future.As a leader, your success depends on how well you can inspire the willing participation, creativity and passion of others at all levels in your organization. There is a story about US president John Kennedy that illustrates the power of a vision that is embraced by all the players. According to this story, which has since become legendary, Kennedy was visiting NASA during the time leading up to the first US moon mission. During a break he went to use the restroom and encountered a man mopping the floor. Smiling at the man, Kennedy thanked him for keeping the room spotless. The man quickly replied, “No sir, I don’t mop floors. I’m helping us go to the moon.” Deeply touched, Kennedy shared the story with others and it went viral. Here was an organization whose members at every level had fully integrated the Vision into their thinking, regardless of what daily tasks they performed. Imagine, if you can, the power of a group of people similarly inspired in your organization. Are your people excited and inspired by a compelling vision…or are they simply mopping floors?

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