????記住，尋求輔導(dǎo)并不意味著自曝弱點(diǎn),。如果你需要在一個(gè)領(lǐng)域內(nèi)改進(jìn),，你的同事們很可能也知道這個(gè)問題。伯曼說：“人們通常不愿讓別人知道自己在尋求幫助,。但技能不足對(duì)于別人并不是什么秘密,，只當(dāng)事人自己把它當(dāng)個(gè)秘密?！?/p>

????對(duì)于輔導(dǎo)期的長短有個(gè)預(yù)期是件好事,，比如6個(gè)月或12個(gè)月?！拜o導(dǎo)只是一座橋,，不是一輩子的陪伴，”梅爾奇說,?！凹幢阋恢苯邮茌o導(dǎo)，也會(huì)出現(xiàn)新的問題,?！?/p>

沒辦法或不愿意投入必要的努力

????與請(qǐng)營養(yǎng)教練或健身教練一樣，你必須得自己付出相當(dāng)?shù)呐?，才能達(dá)到目標(biāo),。教練是合作伙伴，而不是保姆,。

????“教練有責(zé)任幫助推動(dòng)這層關(guān)系,，”哥倫比亞特區(qū)一位專門輔導(dǎo)女性律師和會(huì)計(jì)師的教練琳達(dá)?默庫瑞表示。

????有時(shí),，默庫瑞會(huì)遇到一些希望找到晉升捷徑的人們,，這些人一旦知道首先要做的是了解自己，自己的技能,、成就,、失敗、關(guān)系和目標(biāo)等等,，然后需要與教練一起堅(jiān)持新的道路,，他們就會(huì)退出接受輔導(dǎo)。畢竟,，持續(xù)的改變需要付出時(shí)間和努力,。

????“如果你希望外部環(huán)境發(fā)生變化，內(nèi)在必須要先變化,，”與很多女性高管合作過的亞特蘭大教練漢娜?伊南表示,。“如果你只是改變行為,，一旦面臨壓力,，就會(huì)退回到原來老路?！?/p>

????譯者：楊智

????Remember, you are not revealing a fatal weakness by seeking coaching. If there's an area where you need to improve, your colleagues most likely are aware of the problem. "People get very self-conscious about anyone knowing that they're getting help. The skill deficit is not a secret to anybody but them," Berman says.

????It's healthy to have an expectation for the length of the coaching engagement, such as six months or 12 months. "It's a bridge; it's not a lifetime retainer," Melcher says. "Even if you keep on with your coach, there should be new issues."

You can't or won't put in the necessary work

????Just as with a nutrition or fitness coach, you have to expect to do significant work yourself to achieve your goals. The coach is a partner, not a caretaker.

????"The coachee has a responsibility to help drive this relationship," says Linda Mercurio, a Washington D.C.-area coach who specializes in female lawyers and accountants.

????Mercurio sometimes meets with people who want a simple road map to a promotion, and who back out of coaching once they realize the work they'll need to do first in understanding themselves, their skills, accomplishments, failures, relationships, and goals -- and then sticking to a new course with a coach. Lasting change takes time and effort, after all.

????"If you want any change to happen on the outside, something must shift within you," says Henna Inam, an Atlanta-based coach who works with a lot of executive women. "If you just address the behaviors, people revert back to old behaviors under stress."