????特瓦羅尼特表示：“我建議先試探一下對(duì)方的反應(yīng),，然后再說明自己的情況。有時(shí)候,，人們只是想知道,，你既解決了私事，也完成了工作,?！?/p>

????當(dāng)魯貝爾現(xiàn)在13歲的兒子還是個(gè)嬰兒的時(shí)候，她當(dāng)時(shí)的雇主瓦萊羅能源公司（Valero）正在經(jīng)歷一場令人瘋狂的轉(zhuǎn)型,，幾乎需要她每周出差,。她每次都會(huì)帶著吸奶器坐飛機(jī)，但卻從未跟同事提到自己的情況,。她回憶稱：“那些人從來沒有問過我這件事,，而我也沒有主動(dòng)提出。這種對(duì)話讓人感覺不舒服,?！?/p>

????王表示，他會(huì)與那些能夠接受這種話題的客戶或同事分享個(gè)人信息,，而對(duì)于喜歡公事公辦的人,，他也用相同的方式應(yīng)對(duì)。他說道：“關(guān)鍵是要知道何時(shí)采取坦率的態(tài)度,。有時(shí)候你只需說：‘我要參加一個(gè)會(huì)議,。’”

????在收養(yǎng)5歲大的兒子達(dá)米安時(shí),，王和他的丈夫必須在接到通知后立刻請(qǐng)假前往法院,。對(duì)于相交10年或15年的客戶，王會(huì)告訴他們,，他要請(qǐng)兩天假,，接受社會(huì)服務(wù)人員的面談，或者要去法院辦理收養(yǎng)手續(xù)。對(duì)于其他人,，他只會(huì)告訴他們自己沒有空,。

????但最重要的是，不能因?yàn)閭€(gè)人事務(wù)影響完成工作的能力,。事實(shí)上,，提出個(gè)人事務(wù)最好的方式，或許是首先解釋自己負(fù)責(zé)的所有項(xiàng)目均已步入正軌,，而不是一開始便說：“我上午要請(qǐng)假,，為即將舉辦的馬拉松進(jìn)行訓(xùn)練?！?/p>

????特瓦羅尼特說道：“工作績效要放在首位,。如果你用結(jié)果證明了自己，你便擁有了更大的發(fā)言權(quán),。只要你能展示出自己的實(shí)力,，也就可以在私人事務(wù)上更加坦率?！保ㄘ?cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

????“I recommend putting your toe in the water and then putting your foot in the water next,” Twaronite says. “Sometimes people just want to know, ‘Great, I accomplished my personal thing and I also got the job done.’ ”

????When Lubel’s now-13 year old son was an infant, her then-employer Valero was going through a crazy transition that required her to travel almost weekly. She brought her breast pump on the airplane every time, but never broached the subject with her colleagues. “The guys never asked me about it and I never brought it up,” she recalls. “It’s an uncomfortable conversation.”

????Wong says that he shares personal information with clients or colleagues he knows are receptive but keeps to business with those who prefer that style. “It’s knowing when you need to be transparent,” he says. “Sometimes you can just say, ‘I have a meeting.’ ”

????When he and his husband adopted their five-year old son, Damien, they had to appear in court and take time away from work at short notice. With clients Wong has known for 10 or 15 years, he could say he was taking two days off to be interviewed by social services or spending the day in court for adoption proceedings. With others, he simply said he wasn’t available.

????Above all, don’t let personal obligations affect your ability to do your work. Indeed, that may be the best way to broach a commitment. Instead of saying, “I need the morning off to train for an upcoming marathon,” begin with explaining that all your projects are on track.

????“Performance comes first,” Twaronite says. “If you’ve proven yourself in results, you will have a bigger voice. You’ll have the ability to flex your muscles and be more transparent.”